


The blue envelope

by Strawberry_Stark



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Mutual Pining, Sad Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi Fluff, Tsukishima is oblivious, haikyuu!! - Freeform, pinning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24328963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawberry_Stark/pseuds/Strawberry_Stark
Summary: He started reading the last few words, “I understand if you hate me now-“ Yamaguchi interrupted from where he sat across the room, head facing down in his lap, “- and I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but I had to tell you...” he looks up, face red and tears streaming down his face, pure heartbreak in his eyes as he shivered violently, his gaze met Tsukishima’s. “Y-you wrote-““Yes,” he replies, but its a broken sob as he stands up and grabs his bag, furiously wiping at his face.The blond quickly gets up and starts making his way over to him,  “Yamaguchi I didn’t-“ he tries to grab his hand, but he pulls it back and smiles at the taller. “Don’t Tsukki, save it please. I knew this day would come, I just wish I never wrote that letter, I can’t believe I was so stupid to forget about it!” He yells and he hiccups as more tears fall.—————Tsukishima reads through confession letters girls have given him over the years, but he never expected one to be from his best friend.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 326





	The blue envelope

**Author's Note:**

> Oof thanks for clicking this story!!!
> 
> This is based of a Tik Tok by the user “ramens_cos” 
> 
> A lot of comments where saying they would want a fic like this, so I took it upon myself to ask if anyone would want something like that, and I got over 100 likes on it, including the creator WOW! Soon I got replies asking for it when it’s done so they could read so here it is!!
> 
> I was NOT expecting that comment to blow up oof-
> 
> It took a few hours cause half of it got deleted TWICE cause I’m a dumb bitch who doesn’t backup her saves, but I finally finished it! Please leave a comment letting me know what you think, and a kudos would mean the world if you wanna leave one of those! 
> 
> ENJOY!
> 
> ~Strawberry <3
> 
> (ALSO I have an instagram where I post updates, so feel free to check that out! its the same as my user)

“So your never going to read them?” Yamaguchi asked as his friend threw another letter with a red heart on it into the bottom drawer of his desk carelessly, “No, I don’t really see a reason too,”

  
  
  


The two where hanging out in Tsukishima’s room after school, he had gotten yet another confession letter by some random girl he didn’t care about. He remembers her stuttering and walking up to the blond with fear in her eyes as she says something and then pushes her hands forward offering the letter to him. Yamaguchi saw it all, the disinterested look on his friends face, the fear in her eyes, he took the letter and she ran off as quickly as she had arrived. 

This was very common, many girls had crushes on Tsukishima, he was very popular with them. They thought he looked cool and hot so they would confess to him often, none of them actually _really_ knew him though, one of the reasons he never opened their letters. What could possibly be inside them that meant anything if none of them knew him?

  
  


Sometimes he would open his locker and have a letter fall out, so they weren’t all given in person. 

  
  


The drawer was starting to over flow slightly, at least two dozen letters where inside it, most of them with a white envelope, and a heart on the back sealing it closed. Back when he had first started to get confessed to often he would open them, but everything inside was repetitive and meaningless to him, so he eventually stoped and just threw them all in the drawer. 

  
  
  


“Don’t you want to go out with any of them?” Yamaguchi asked, “Why should I? I don’t know any of those girls, I don’t care about them” he scoffed adjusting his glasses, “That’s mean Tsukki!” His friend frowned 

  
  


They spent some more time together, chatting a little and just enjoying one another’s company. Tsukishima sighed and glanced at the drawer again, “I guess I could open some of them,” he opened the drawer and looked disgusted at the amount of letters inside, “Wow, that’s a lot...” Yamaguchi’s eyes widened. Tsukishima nodded, “You don’t have to open them Tsukki, you know that right?”

“I know, but I’m kinda curious now..”

  
  


He reached inside grabbing on of the top letters, he opened it and inside was a folded piece of paper.

  
  
  


“Dear Tsukishima,” he laughed slightly but continued reading “I’ve admired you for a long time now, you seem really cool,” He looks over at Yamaguchi, “Wow that sounds stalker-ish...” Yamaguchi nods and laughs, he goes back to reading “I would be honored if you could consider my feelings and go on a date with me sometime?” He sighs, “Wow straight to the point isn’t she?’ They both laugh.

  
  


This goes on for a while, letter after letter, most are the same, they mocked them and laughed at the half assed ‘love’ letters these girls wrote, Yamaguchi felt a little bad, but these girls never tried perusing him after giving him letters anyways, they always got obsessed with some other boy after they realized he wasn’t going to respond to their letters, so it didn’t make the freckled boy feel too bad.

  
  


They where around five letters in and they where having a lot of fun, Tsukishima was smiling a lot and laughing, which made Yamaguchi really happy, he didn’t show his emotions nearly enough so he just let the blond keep reading the letters with him, if it meant he could keep hearing him laugh it was worth it.

  
  
  


He shuffles to the bottom of the drawer and a envelope catches his eye, “Huh, this ones blue,” he picks it up and examines it, “That’s a nice change of pace.” He flipped it over and instead of the usual heart sealing the letter it was a yellow star. He opened it and took out the con tense, it was multiple pages, Yamaguchi recognized the dark blue envelope but couldn’t place his finger on where he had seen it before. After all he must have had it a long time for it to be at the bottom of that giant pile. 

  
  


Tsukishima adjusts his glasses and starts reading, “I hope this doesn’t change anything,” he lifts an eyebrow, and Yamaguchi’s eyes widen, “I’ve liked you for a long time now Tsukishima, I’m sorry I’m not brave enough to say this in person...” He looks over to Yamaguchi and somehow doesn’t notice the panic in his eyes as he laughs, “Wow this is some major stalker huh?” He goes back to reading...

  
  


“Seeing you always makes my day better, and I don’t know who I’d be if I had never met you,” He reads in a disinterested tone, “Hmm, certainly don’t remember you” he laughs, “I’ve had these feelings since we first met, and holding them in all this time became too painful,” The blond readjusts his glasses, “Wow wouldn’t wanna be them right now, right Yamaguchi?” A bead of sweat rolls down the smaller boys face, “Y-yeah” he laughs lightly, trying to keep in tears. 

  
  


But he doesn’t stop reading there, 

  
  


“I was always scared of your reaction, but today I feel brave enough to say this, and I don’t think I would be able to if I didn’t do it now. I love you Kei.”

He lowers the letter for a moment, clearly confused, “They called me by my name... Really?” He scoffs, “Y-you don’t have to read all of that, it looks like it goes on for ages,” he says with a laugh trying to get him to stop reading. It doesn’t work. 

“Your so brave and fearless, I aspire to be like that, to be cooler like you. I wish I was brave enough to tell you all this in front of you, but I can’t... I’m not as strong as you are. Everything that I learn about you just makes me fall further and further for you, I’ve tried stopping these feelings but I can’t... I’m sorry, I know you don’t feel the same. Besides, you don’t even like boys do you?”

His eyes widen, “This is from a guy?” He questions, but doesn’t take his gaze off the papers, he couldn’t see his best friend curled in a ball knees to his chest hugging himself, as small tears rolled down his cheeks silently as he felt his heartbreak more and more with each word he mocked.

  
  


The letter went on for several more minutes and he read it all, mocking the things inside like he did with all the others, the letter had a lot of personal details he told almost no one, the fact his favorite desert was strawberry cake, his love of dinosaurs, and a lot of other things, it confused him but he kept reading. 

  
  


He started reading the last few words, “I understand if you hate me now-“ Yamaguchi interrupted from where he sat across the room, head facing down in his lap, “- and I understand if you never want to talk to me again, but I had to tell you...” he looks up, face red and tears streaming down his face, pure heartbreak in his eyes as he shivered violently, his gaze met Tsukishima’s. “Y-you wrote-“

  
  


“Yes,” he replies, but its a broken sob as he stands up and grabs his bag, furiously wiping at his face.The blond quickly gets up and starts making his way over to him, “Yamaguchi I didn’t-“ he tries to grab his hand, but he pulls it back and smiles at the taller. “Don’t Tsukki, save it please. I knew this day would come, I just wish I never wrote that letter, I can’t believe I was so stupid to forget about it!” He yells and he hiccups as more tears fall. 

  
  


He runs out his door before he can say anything else, and Tsukishima stands there stunned for a moment, Yamaguchi... _Loves me? H-how did I not notice? How long ago did he leave that letter for me? Oh my go- I need to find him,_

  
  


It’s late, very late, he was planning on having Yamaguchi stay over since it was unsafe getting home when it was this dark out, he sprints out his door in search of him not bothering to get a coat. Its pitch black outside, the few street lamps are the only guiding light along with what came off the moon, he sees him running down the sidewalk in the distance and sprints after him, he catches up thanks to his long legs and speed.

  
  
  
  
  


“Yamaguchi wait!” He reaches for his wrist and pulls the boy making him stop and fall against him, he tries to struggle, “N-no! Leave me alone Tuskki please!” He sobs, Tuskishima wraps his arms around him in a hug to keep him from escaping. “Le-let me go...” He cries, “No, I need to talk to you please...”

He feels the boy sob against his chest, and a damp spot forming on his T-shirt, the rain falls down heavier, getting them wet and Yamaguchi shakes more, his knees give out and he falls to his knees, bringing the taller boy down with him. They sit there for a moment, only sounds being the rain and Yamaguchi’s cries, he tries to wriggle out of his grasp yet again, “P-please Tuskki, just let me go…”

  
  


He sighs, “You and I both know I can’t do that, you would leave before I could talk to you, please lets go back to my house, your getting soaking wet..” he tries to reason and the boy nods, he stands up and releases him from the hug. Yamaguchi tries to bolt for it but the blond grabs his wrist tightly.

  
  


He leads them back to his house and back up to his room, he’s thankful his mother isn’t home he really wouldn’t want to explain why he just all but dragged a sobbing Yamaguchi back into the house after he sprinted into a storm… He asks Yamaguchi to wait while he gets towels for them to dry off. He does so and sees the letter still on the bed where it was discarded earlier.

  
  


_How could I forget I wrote that? I’m so foolish, when did I write that anyway? It was at least a few years ago…_

He thinks about running again, but he feels so weak and broken right now he knew he wouldn’t get far before Tsukishima caught him again. There was no way out of this conversation, he was terrified for what he might say.

He remembers the day he wrote that letter, he spent hours debating what to write in it, and when he slipped the envelope in his locker he regretted it instantly, he tried shoving his hand through the small opening but he couldn’t fish the letter out.

But he never signed it, he assumed that if he ever read it he would mention it to him, and at that point he would say that he wrote the letter. 

  
  


But that day never came, as weeks went on he realized he must have thrown it out. After all he didn’t know what he did with all the confession letters people gave him.

  
  


As time went on he forgot about it completely until he had heard Tsukki reading those first few words.

  
  


The blond returned with a towel around his neck, he looked nervous. He handed a towel to Yamaguchi and the boy sat down next to the letter after drying off. 

Tsukishima picked up the letter carefully and placed it on his desk, then sat down next to the freckled boy. 

  
  


Yamaguchi clutches the towel tightly in his hands, breathing still uneven as he tries not to cry even more then he already has.

  
  


“You know I’m not upset right? And I’m not going to cut you out of my life either…” he says in a calm voice trying to make eye contact with the green-brown haired boy. But his gaze was in his lap.

  
  


He takes the towel from his hands gently and places it on the floor, and he immediately balls his hands into fists and digs his fingernails into the palm of his hand.

  
  


“Hey, no no don’t do that, please…” Tsukishima reaches over and takes his hands keeping the boy from drawing blood. “Talk to me Yamaguchi, please…”

  
  


“What am I supposed to say..?” He whispers, “What?”

  
  


“What am I supposed to say!?” He stands up, “Am I supposed to say that I’ve loved you since the day we met?? That every time a girl confessed to you my heart shattered a little more with the continuious realization that you could date any of them, fall in love with them, get married, and have a happy life and where would that leave me?!” His eyes water,

  
  


“I’m surprised with myself actually!” He laughs,

“I didn’t think I’d be able to hold on this long without saying something, I kept the tiniest _shred_ of hope with me all these years that you would feel the same! God I was _pathetic!_ I dreamt that some day you would like me and we would be together and I’d be the happiest person alive at that moment!” Fresh hot tears stream down his cheeks.

  
  


“But I was so afraid of losing you TsukkI!!” He yells, chest rising and falling rapidly, breathing ragged and uneven, the taller boy stands up and hugs him. Yamaguchi takes fists fulls of his shirt in his hands and sobs, 

  
  


“I-I couldn’t r-risk losing y-you!” He starts to hyperventilate, “Yamaguchi breath please, your having a panic attack…” he states calmly as he pets the boys hair back in a calming motion.

He feels his breath even out and he pulls out of the hug a moment later, placing his arms on his shoulders, 

  
  


“Do you know why I never went out with any of those girls?” He asks,

  
  


“Y-you didn’t know any of them?” 

  
  


“That’s part of it… I don’t like girls romantically actually,”

  
  


He stays silent letting him continue, “I had my heart set on someone else..” he blushes lightly, making eye contact with the boy, he starts crying more,

  
  


“No no don’t cry, don’t you see what I’m saying?”

  
  


He shakes his head no, eyes looking fearful.

  
  


“Tadashi I love you..” There’s complete honesty in his eyes, 

“I was a coward for years, I had the same problem as you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to risk our friendship if you didn’t feel the same. You are the only best friend I’ve had and if I lost you I didn’t know what I’d do…”

  
  


He inhales a shaky breath, his eyes are glossy with unshed tears,

  
  


“I was okay with just being your friend for so many years because I didn’t want to risk losing you completely…” A tear falls down his cheek,

  
  


“But I had _no idea_ that you liked me too, and the fact that you where miserable for so long because of me, I- I just-“ He looks away and wipes the tears off his face and adjusts his glasses. 

  
  


“I feel horrible knowing I’m what caused so much time of you being sad and having you heart broken, I can’t deal with that…”

He looks back at Yamaguchi, 

  
  


“I-I’m so s-sorry Tadashi… I- you shouldn’t even like me anymore, you deserve someone bet-“

  
  


He tackles him to the ground in a hug, “Shut up!!” He yells, Tsukishima’s back was against the bed and Yamaguchi sat on him, the blonds eyes widened in shock. He pulls out of the hug and slaps Tsukishima’s face,

  
  


“Don’t you dare start talking crap about yourself like you weren’t hurting that whole time too!! You act like you have no emotions, like your some kind of robot! Stop minimizing your pain Tsukki!!” He shouts at him, 

  
  


They both go quiet, “O-oh my god I hit you I’m so sorr-!” He’s cut of by a loud laugh, Tuskishima’s laughing? 

  
  


“It’s fine, I deserved that!” He giggles and Yamaguchi laughs with him.

  
  


“We’re such idiots!” Yamaguchi laughs, “I don’t care about all the time I kept my feelings hidden anymore Tsukki…” he says looking him in the eyes,

  
  


“That’s in the past now, and if you’ll have me… I’d love to be your boyfriend..”

  
  


Tsukishima smiles, “You sure you want to date me? There’s plenty of other people you cou-“

  
  


“-Don’t make me slap you again!” He shuts up,

  
  


He leans closer, “Tadashi I love you…”

“I love you to, Kei…” Yamaguchi closes the distance leaning into the boy and gently pressing their lips together. There was no real force behind it, it was slow and delicate. But after all these years he was just happy he finally got to kiss him. 

  
  


They pull back after a moment, “I could’ve been kissing you this whole time huh?” He jokes, Tsukishima looks smug and smirks, “Yeah you could have,” 

  
  


He takes that as an invitation to lean forward again, kissing the blonds lips more fiercely, he tilts his head and Tsukishima licks his lips asking for entrance, he opens his mouth and moans into the kiss, intangling his hands into the blonds hair as Tsukishima’s hands sat on his waist where he was sitting on his lap.

  
  


They pull back for air, a thin trail of saliva connecting their mouths as their faces flushed with red blush, panting.

  
  


“I love you so much, Tadashi…” 

  
  


“You already said that,” he giggles, 

  
  


“And I’m going to keep saying it, make up for all the times I could have been telling you that I love you. Tadashi I love you so much…” he hugs the boy, “That’s my name don’t wear it out” he smirks, 

  
  


“Is that a challenge?” 

  
  


“Yes, yes it is. Besides I love it when you call me my name..”

  
  


“Good to know, Tadashi…” he whispers in his ear.

  
  


Yamaguchi kisses the side of his face and pulls out of the hug, “We should get some sleep, we have school tomorrow..” he nods and they get into bed and snuggle up beside one another, Tsukishima’s arm around his waist pulling the smaller boy into him, while Yamaguchi had his face nuzzled into his chest. 

  
  


“I love you Kei, goodnight…”

  
  
  
  


_—— FIN ——_

  
  
  
  


  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a ton for reading!
> 
> I was debating for a long time wether on not I should keep the scene were Yams runs out into the rain or if I should have Tsukki catch him before he leaves, but I thought it made more sense since he would be stunned by the info that he likes him, so I kept my original idea.
> 
> This was really fun to make besides all the aggravation and tears from the errors where I lost a lot of work.
> 
> Also, uhh *Sweats* this was my first time writing anything remotely spicy or any kiss scene ever so I hope that turned out ok! 
> 
> Thanks for reading it means so much to me and I hope you have a lovely day!!! <3


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